Way to begin the Summer

Beginning of summer already! Freshman year did go by pretty fast..I don't want to grow any older :/ Finals were pretty easy, hopefully I did good on all of them!
So once again, I kind of like someone..not really..it's "complicated." I can't tell if I like this person or another person. But the other person seems like he doesn't like me, like he doesn't even want to talk to me. I text him a lot now, but..sometimes he never responds, or always gives short answers which annoys me so much! Or he'll do the "..." at the end of ever lil' message! But I guess I should just stick with the other guy who does kind of like me...It's weird though, cause Julia brought up that if I ever do get with him, it won't be as fun as the other person..it'll be completly different, which is probably true. I don't even want to talk to him anymore, but I can't not talk to him..I like talking to him, a lot. It was kind of crazy, because we didn't talk for like two whole days D: I don't want to be like the girl in "He's just not that into you" and be desperate for this guy..ugh! I'll just wait for him to say something? I noticed that I'm always the one saying something first, why can't he do it for once..? :/ I'm starting to give up on even being his friend..gahh
I went to a party last night with Julia, it ended up being pretty boring. We left after a few hours and went to Jessica's moms house for some food. Then went to Quest Learning Center to use the phone since my phone was running out of battery! Chilled with my drum teacher for a little bit :)
I'm going to the movies on Monday, I don't even want to plan anything this summer with anyone..I'll let them plan -.- I always always always plan everything, and I'm starting to get tired of it..fuck my life!!!
-The Cool Kid

No worries?

Damn, it's been a while since I posted a blog..The past few weeks haven't been going too well, but I'm trying to "STAND STRONG." I've been feeling all depressed for a reason that shouldn't be bothering me. I should be over the fact that nothing else good will happen in my "fantastic life..." I don't always get what I want, which is probably a good thing.. I've noticed that I've been extremely rude to my mom over the past few months, and I want to try and make it up to her this summer. Everything she's done for me- A.K.A. spoiling me to death- has made me more and more of a bitch to her. I don't think I deserve all the glamorous gifts she's given me. But I love her more than anything for providing me with everything I need, such as my great education at MaterDei. Yes, she can be a real pain in the ass when it comes to me going out with my friends, but that's because she's trying to teach me how to put important things first than going out and always having fun. I haven't been putting my priorities first lately, which is probably why my math grade has been lowering. Now that I'm finally noticing that I need to get my act straight, I've been doing better and better slowly but surely. I feel more organized after talking to my counciler about what's been going on. On top of everything, my Nana Rosie has been in the hospital for something that could kill her because of how old she is- she has fluid in her lungs. When I went to visit her, I got really emotional because she had been bringing up things that had happened in the past. I know I haven't really been visiting her, but once she's gone, she's gone. I've been trying to visit her a lot lately, because I'll really miss her when she goes up with God. I want to be as good of person as her.
I'm starting to lose a friend of mine that I love, but I can't do anything about it cause it's their decision if they still want to be my friend..not mine. I've been writing songs lately to kind of let my feeling out, instead of holding everything inside. That's one thing that my brother taught me, is to never keep things inside, because it'll just build up. He's also been going through a lot lately, involving his ex-girlfriend, Jayme. I guess you can call it love, if they still talk. They broke up two years ago...Hopefully everything goes well this summer, I'm praying to God...